Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
