wanna go halves on a baby?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You don't make any sense
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