I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
