gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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