do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
