If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize