return my video game
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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