If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
