Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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