i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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