***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
