"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Everyone says I win the strip club
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
