my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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