I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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