she was so not down for the gang bang
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
