the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
