You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
