Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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