I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
