Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
