i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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