I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
