Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
