Nicole vs. Life
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
