Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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