I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
