I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
