I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
