I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
