I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
