So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
