i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
