that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
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