Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
