I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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