# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
