just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
