so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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