i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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