I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
