He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
