dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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