I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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