bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
