you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
