the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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