Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
