let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
