I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
one might say we're banned from that church
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
