He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
