I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
