He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
whose parrot is this?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
