I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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