I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
