Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
and you fell through a lawn chair
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just puked most of my soul out..
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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