Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
